Six years ago when I was about to graduate college, I had a nice paying job in tech sales lined up. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life so I was just thankful and relieved to have a job.

One day after Spanish class, my professor asked me if I had anything lined up. I told her I'd be doing sales.

She did nothing to mask her disgust. "Why would you do that to yourself?" Then, she scoffed.

I immediately downplayed the situation even though I was proud to have gotten an offer after acing four intense interviews. "Well, my entire family does sales…and…"

I seriously don't remember how I handled her blatant disapproval but I can tell you that I felt like a massive sell-out for not pursuing something meaningful.

Anyway, her comment shook me: Did accepting a job in sales make me selfish? Should I be doing something to help people? Should I be following some sort of passionate desire to change the world?

A few weeks later, the company that had offered me the job called to say they needed me to start in Ft. Meyers, Florida; not in Boston where I had originally interviewed. I was taken aback by this bait-and-switch and ultimately decided not to take the job.

Suddenly, I was back at the job search again, this time, searching for something with meaning that would lead to fulfillment.

At this point, I hadn't lived on my own before, so when a local children's hospital offered me a Community Health Educator position with a non-profit salary for half of what I had been offered in tech sales, I didn't bat an eyelash.

I'd be working in the community, teaching kids and making a difference. I was genuinely pumped and proud to be offered the position. My identical twin ended up taking a different job in tech sales.

At 23 years old, the non-profit position was a dream. Even though my friends had corporate jobs that paid more than mine, they didn't make visibly more. We were all living in crappy apartments and starting off. In conversation, I was so proud to share what I was doing day-to-day. I was planning community events, participating in research opportunities, collaborating with local non-profits, going to conferences, etc. I became really passionate about safety and prevention, and I did feel fulfilled each day.

A few years back, a subtle resentment towards my idealism started flickering in my heart when I realized the only way I could only get promoted in the hierarchical hospital world was if I dumped another $30k–$50k (which I don't have) into a masters degree. The time and effort, along with the potential for a very small raise and bigger loans, didn't seem worth it. It was a deflating realization.

Now I am 28 and I'm still working in the non-profit sector. I think about how my retirement could be healthier. I think about how I could be living in an apartment complex with an in-unit washer-dryer and even a pool. I think about the vacations I can't afford because I chose a low-paying career path. I think about how there are companies that provide hefty maternity leave (my sister, still in tech sales, gets 6 months paid). When I think about this, it stings. My inner idealist had no concept of the long term.

I know these problems can be solved with a new job. However, I feel a loyalty to my coworkers, to the mission and to the communities I serve. I still love what I do. The only thing that discourages me is the paycheck. I'm torn.

I can see how the years of fulfillment and meaning have cost me a pretty penny. I can see how my idealism has set me back financially. I feel like I blinked and I'm suddenly playing financial catch-up compared to my peers who took corporate jobs.

And to be honest, seeing that differentiation upsets me. It's also a little embarrassing. My sense of idealism has been crushed. Now I just look at my career and think that all of it was just…cute.

If I could do it all over again, I would have taken the sales job over the non-profit one. Don't hate me.

I'm six years down this path, and I feel jaded. I've been hoodwinked by idealism. I'm also slightly agitated at my younger self for not being money-driven or having a sense of the long term.

And here's the thing. Non-profit workers bring so much value to the community, but that value is not reflected in their salaries. They need to be paid more. Or the very least, depending on their majors, maybe pay a fraction of the tuition from the start.

It's heartbreaking to see colleagues of mine who have served their communities for decades, continue to struggle financially. I know there are federal programs that will forgive student loans after a person slaves, I mean works, for ten years in the non-profit space. However, I've also been told that these programs are not guaranteed. Myself and others who have served our communities have been warned not to bank on these programs.

I've spent the past year learning to recognize my worth as an employee and make better financial decisions where I can. I've started paying better attention to my retirement savings and investing wisely. I strive to keep rent low, and I have a second job that keeps me financially afloat (and sane).

It's been a blessing in some ways. It's forced me to pay close attention to my bank account, become more of a long term thinker and embrace saving and making extra money.

And more importantly, the financial pressure has awoken an entrepreneurial part of me that may not exist if my career had gone a different route. I'm always finding ways to make more money on the side and I'm more responsible with my finances than ever.

If you're an idealist about to graduate, think carefully about the kind of lifestyle you want five, ten, twenty years from now. Ask yourself if you can afford a Master's Degree in that field and if that's worth it to you. Side note: It's perplexing to me how the lower paying jobs in fields like teaching and health require Master's Degrees to progress forward, where jobs that pay well in business, tech and sales often do not.

When you see your peers in corporate jobs getting promotions, raises, and bonuses while your salary stays more or less the same, will that bother you? Will living paycheck to paycheck be something you're still happy with when you're approaching 30?

And for those of you who are in your communities making a difference every day, keep your idealism close to your heart. Don't let it slip away like I let mine. The world needs idealists. And also, it's OK to start considering yourself. It's OK to start putting your needs first. It's OK to be a realist when it comes to personal finance.