My first taste of freedom came when I joined university. There were no parents to dictate my movements and no dorm captain to monitor what time the lights went off. This, to me, was ultimate freedom.
I could eat what I chose. I didn't have to endure bland food from my boarding high school anymore. I didn't have to attend classes. There were no restrictions on when and how long I could hang out with my friends.
I loved it.
As I indulged in this newfound independence, two lessons emerged. One, freedom is priceless, and two, real freedom comes with responsibility and a lot of discipline. Running free and wild is not freedom, it is indiscipline.
I learned to budget and spend the little money I had wisely. Eating out every day was tempting, but the concept of choices and consequences was now a reality. I chose to cook.
I met my closest friends at university. Hanging out was fun, but there was nothing crazy going on. We were boring, still are, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I missed class a few times, but with good reason. Even the classes I disliked, like The History of English, I attended them all, dragging my feet.
I learned my first lesson in independence and freedom, but it was different from what I had perceived it to be.
It took a while to articulate clearly what real freedom looked like to me. I now have a grasp and an idea on how to go about attaining it.
I have used freedom and independence interchangeably.
Physical Independence
This is the most basic level of independence. It is the ability to move around and physically care for oneself. It may well explain why a child starts moving with lightning speed as soon as they can walk independently.
The taste of physical freedom is exhilarating.
It is great to be physically free, but the inability to rely fully on oneself physically does not negate freedom in other areas.
A person who relies on others to assist them with physical tasks due to sickness, physical disability or other factors limiting their movement is not entirely dependent, as long as their other faculties are unaffected.
Physical exercise, eating healthy, observing good sleep habits are some examples of how to preserve our physical health and freedom.
Emotional Independence
The willingness or ability to acknowledge our feelings and to process emotions is the first step towards becoming emotionally free. This means to allow emotions to float to the surface without identifying too much with them.
For example, "I feel anxious" — instead of berating ourselves for not having it together, or worse, lashing out at others, we sit with the feeling. If we don't suppress, project or assign blame, the feeling will dissipate on its own after a while.
The way to achieve emotional independence, besides acknowledging and processing emotions, is to be compassionate towards oneself. When we are easy on ourselves, it becomes easier to extend empathy and compassion towards others too.
When you are emotionally independent, you don't rely on others or events outside of you to feel better. You seek and appreciate emotional support from loved ones, but you self-soothe easily.
The more responsible we become for our feelings and practice self-compassion, the closer we get to achieving emotional freedom.
Mental Independence
This refers to the ability to think freely.
It is choosing not to believe all the advice you receive or everything you read. You get to decide what is useful and relevant to your life and what isn't.
Critical thinking skills are important when it comes to achieving mental freedom. Adopt an open mind and actively seek to learn from different sources.
Read books, learn from your own and other people's experiences, ask questions.
Financial Independence/Freedom
When you have enough money to cater for your living expenses without having to depend on a job or trade-in your time, you are financially free.
The first step to get here, in most cases, is to earn an income, learn how to budget, save and invest.
It is simple, but not easy.
You get here by adopting a disciplined and prudent lifestyle. You consistently save and invest as you expand your earning power, like developing new skills. With time and patience, you create passive or multiple sources of income and this frees your time.
It doesn't mean you stop working. It means you now have options to choose what you love to do.
With financial freedom, money stops being a major factor when deciding what to do.
Someone with a modest lifestyle does not need to make tons of money to be financially independent. They only need enough.
Conclusion
People who equate freedom with doing what they want, when they want and how they want, and fail to factor in the role of discipline, end up becoming more dependent and less free than they were before.
A person who lacks the discipline and responsibility to control their emotions will more likely end up poor, in jail or alone.
A person who cannot control their spending will be stuck in a job they hate for the rest of their lives. That is assuming they don't lose the job.
Someone who does not bother to read or learn anything new becomes close-minded with each passing day. Their mind becomes the dumping ground for distorted facts and bigotry.
If you can't think for yourself, others will be glad to do it for you. Your mental faculty becomes someone else's property.
When one is physically, mentally, emotionally and financially independent and free, they are calm and peaceful.
Their lives are not devoid of challenges, but they are better equipped to handle them.