I was a writer and an opera singer. I followed my dream of combining two passions and rolling out a very bumpy career. I managed to swivel on this rollercoaster until corona hit the world and threatened both my husband's position in the USA and my opportunities to sing and write.

As an artist luck played a more important role than education. My husband is a sought-after IT professional, but IT professionals from a foreign country on contract in America had their very own problems. They were underpaid, overworked professionals, who could be shoved around here and there like a ball, in return for the hope of still lingering on in the land of dreams.

For an Indian who raised both his children in the world's most powerful country, this was also true.

When my husband's dream of staying on in the USA and my dream of playing Carmen at the American opera was threatened, we decided to trade everything we had so that the children did not have to return to India — a country they only looked like they belonged to.

From home-maker to fortune-changer

In February 2020, I decided to forget I was a mother, writer, and singer and left the USA to enter Germany to become a nurse. I was aware that this career I could bank on at all times, without having to go through endless auditions, churning out countless written scraps that would be rejected or copied, or sending demo tapes I had spent a fortune to make.

I chose Germany as I had a family to support my boarding and loading. I spent 8 months working as a social worker in an old-age home and taking the B1 German exam. As a social worker, I would only be paid 300 euros which would all go toward German classes.

Thereafter, I was granted admission to the 'Ausbildung '— a three-year paid study where you spent 1/3 of your time learning in school, and the rest working in different nursing facilities.

While learning the language was hard, sitting in a class of native Germans who were half my age and smarter at answering questions they understood quicker, was harder.

What were the most difficult parts of the course, or this four-year journey, you would ask?

Trying to figure out how to work and resolve assignments in a group. The teachers, more often than not, left us to work out themes while brainstorming with a mixed group. The extremely competitive German colleagues did not want to miss out on a good note due to a bad influence on the task given. The bad influence was the slow-understanding foreigner.

Thus, group work with them was perilous. One could not offer any ideas or suggest anything, as the other 'leaders' already had everything done. Working with them was the perfect recipe to make one feel like a burden on earth.

The journey of almost four years from February 2020 to September 30th, 2023, when I completed my nursing program was anything but easy. I would not wish the physical struggle at the old age home, the misunderstanding due to the language barrier, or the emotional triumph with the foreign office for the many visa prolongations on anyone.

But what I would wish every fellow immigrant is the financial security this career has given me due to the indispensable nature of the job. Of course, the opportunity given to us by the German government to live and breathe clean air in this comparatively pro-immigration country was another plus.

From artist to nurse

Talent is one thing. But being successful in one's passion is another. My journey as an opera singer in India was quite lucky. Because of the dearth of mezzo-sopranos there, the only opera company there granted me a lot of opportunities and exposure, until we moved to the States and things took a different turn.

Here one would spend money churning out demo CDs and then slowly sending them to different opera facilities for a fee. If the demo was worthwhile, one would be called for an audition, and after a week of waiting, eventually be rejected based on accent, appearance or non- American education.

When I did manage to bag a non-lucrative minor opportunity at a summer opera program, I refused anyway as I could not stay away from two small kids for three months.

After much trial and error, I bagged a cantor's job in the church, which lasted until the coronavirus came and churches had to have remote mass.

My career as a writer and editor never took off in America. Amid so many native Americans, they did not need a foreigner to write or correct their language. Understandable.

What they needed were caregivers, singers, or volunteers who would be willing to spend even an hour a week just talking to lonely oldies. I did make use of this opportunity to sing small concerts at an old-age home nearby or conduct music and movement for autistic children.

Using my talent this way did not pay or promise much grandeur, but it was very rewarding.

My service to the oldies made me realize that if there was one section of society I did have a lot of patience with, it was the older generation.

Now I am a nurse in an old home, thanks to the connection I made with them through my talent for singing. After four years of struggle, I can say that turning from artist to nurse was my calling and the best decision I made, even though much later in life.

The then, the now, and the future

If one asked Lady Gaga to stop singing and just be a mother, perhaps she would whine. Neither was I Lady Gaga, nor rich like her to live off my royalties.

That being said, to give up my very modest singer and writer career for four years in return for settling the family abroad for a degree worth all its weight in gold, was not much to ask for.

That's right — a degree worth all its weight in gold. And I say that just 6 months down from having attained it.

Being wanted can affect one both mentally and emotionally. Being wanted as a partner or a mother has little to do with being wanted in a career or profession.

The former without the latter provides only monetary satisfaction and a lifetime of regret. The latter without the former provides confidence and a reason to live.

The perfect combination of the two is the perfect recipe for a long life. I am still working on this algebraic equation.

"Don't I miss my life as a singer?", people ask when they hear me sing. The short answer is no. It may sound cowardly what I say, as many artists take pride in their struggle or the journey to it. When in the end the result outweighs the struggle, perhaps the struggle is forgotten and the focus lies on the goal.

This is exactly what happened in my case. Becoming a nurse in Germany was a need I learned to have a passion for. You learn to make your work your passion by anticipating the impossible. For us, the impossible meant to have a permanent home in a country other than the Third World. To be able to build a future in a nation we had family in, and to live in one home for more than 5 years.

To achieve this goal, I swallowed every insult and injury. When all went well, this goal was only four years later. Compared to the almost 25-year struggle I underwent to make it only mediocre in music, this was a sure shot.

Nothing compares to leaving immediate family behind in one foreign country and then heading to another with no knowledge of the language.

Had I not had any family or people dependent on me, I would have stuck on to struggling as a singer. But when you have small mouths dependent on your presence, the passion for talent or art becomes secondary.

When you are not alone and have a family that is dependent on your decisions both emotionally and financially, it would be selfish to keep striving for yourself and your passion.

So yes, perhaps it was cowardly to forget all about music and jump on the bandwagon to career and success like every other person. But that was the need of the hour. A golden career in music would have massaged my ego. A golden career as a nurse massaged my ego and my soul.

I think my work as a nurse is a lot more valuable to the family and to society as a singer. And the combination of singing and nursing has helped many more people in the past four years.

Find something worthwhile in what you currently persue as a career and remind yourself of the difference it makes to the world.

My advice to fellow artists

As artists, we all know what passion is. We all have set goals that were not met. We have encountered rejection many times and learned to accept it with open arms. We have had to alter our egos to accept criticism and are bound to be thick-skinned.

All these attributes, my fellow artists, make you stronger to face the world!

Dream, desire and accept rejection and criticism, not to be discouraged, but to learn from it.

When I had the strength to accept the negatives as an artist, I learned to accept my negatives not only as a singer or a writer but in any field I considered myself not the master. And no matter how good you are, there is always room to learn.

My advice to all artists is to follow their path and passion, but not at the risk of their loved ones. If you are alone and choose to be alone because of your bumpy career as an artist, you are free to live as a nomad and can survive on tidbits. But if you have a partner and a family, they may or may not be able to cope with your success, or your failure.

If I did not have children to think about, maybe, there was a faint chance of making it big. I could then commit to overnight stays in different states in the USA while getting paid peanuts and sacrificing time with the family.

That was not the case. I could not be expected to live as a single woman while I was not single. That is shoving off responsibility.

So instead of putting all your energy into something that may or may not bear fruit, I urge you to utilize the attributes you have gained while following your passion and apply it to something that is bound to happen.

And on the side, keep practicing your talent. No one can steal your art from you, but time lost now is time lost forever.