STRATEGIES TO QUIT

Yesterday I talked to my friend who has been sober for over ten years. Marilyn goes to Alcoholics Anonymous meetings regularly, often when she feels she needs support.

She said she discussed feeling "restless, irritable, and discontent." This subject occasionally arises (maybe more than occasionally) at the meetings.

This phrase is well-known in AA circles.

I told her I loved that saying and felt that, too, now and then. More so lately, as my plate has been incredibly full.

Restless, irritable, and discontent sum up perfectly a trio of emotions that seem inextricably connected.

If restless, one may become irritable, and both emotions can lead to discontent.

I'm not a regular AA attendee — I've only been once, but I plan on returning.

These three words spoke loudly to me. It isn't only about addiction, sobriety, or problems or issues relating to that. It fits whatever we are experiencing in our lives at the moment.

Marilyn's upset wasn't about drinking but a family issue. Yet any issue can lead us to the fallible answer — alcohol and the need for it. We often thought having a drink was the solution to whatever problem arose.

Our problems can create stress, and stress often leads to substance use.

Many of us turned to alcohol because of an inability to manage problems, stress, or anxiety in a healthy way. It seemed quicker and easier to drink away the discomfort.

No one wants to be restless, irritable, or discontent. Our physical and mental health suffers when stress is not dealt with properly and safely.

The following suggestions to manage stress also work to help you quit drinking.

Get Help

There's no need to go it alone. When stressed, I talk to my sister, a friend, or God.

Reach out to a therapist, a 12-step program, your local alcohol abuse hotline, or SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Service Administration at 1–800–662–4357.

I love Michael A. Singer's books when I'm feeling lost or stressed and turn to: The Untethered Soul, The Surrender Experiment, and Living Untethered. These books do not concern sobriety but remind us to accept life, not resist it. He also tells us to lighten up and reminds us that we are on Earth to enjoy life and are only here for a short time — enjoy every moment. What a wake-up call reminding us to be grateful for what we have.

Get Quiet

Meditation and Mindfulness bring on feelings of peace and serenity. You will feel calm and relaxed by practicing breathing exercises. Watching your chest or tummy rise and fall with each breath is a meditation.

Mindfulness is focusing on the present moment. If you are thinking — don't judge. Allow the thoughts to float by.

I use the guided meditation app Unplug first thing every morning to start the day on a positive note. There are countless apps for you to download to get started.

Exercise

Moving the body is a well-known stress and anxiety releaser. Research has shown that just 15–20 minutes a day of physical activity is enough to reduce stress. This is enough time to release endorphins, the "feel good" chemicals to help you feel relaxed and happy. Just think what 30–45 minutes will do.

If you exercise outdoors — so much the better. Nature is a natural physical and mental stress reducer.

Eat and Sleep Well

There's not much that feels better than a good night's sleep. Okay, I know what you're thinking…so sleep is second-best.

Sleep was restless, evasive, and sometimes anxiety-ridden during our drinking days. Since I became alcohol-free, my sleep has been deep, dreamy, and restful.

A good diet loaded with lean proteins and colorful fruit and vegetables leads to a healthy body and promotes restful sleep.

We feel so much better and rested when we get eight hours of sleep and eat well. Insomnia and a poor diet contribute to stress. Exercise also helps us to get deep, restful sleep.

There is abundant information online for tips for obtaining better sleep.

I may have difficulty sleeping at night if a problem is on my mind. My go-to solution is picturing the tide coming in with the waves hitting the shore. This is a distraction from my thoughts and seldom fails to woo me to sleep.

We know stress contributes to alcohol use and abuse and can lead to feeling restless, irritable, and discontent.

Stress has existed since the beginning of time and is a part of life that we must deal with. We have learned that alcohol is not a solution and may exacerbate our anxiety.

Keep a list of ways to help manage stress in a healthy way. This list of suggestions is a good place to start. Experiment and keep adding ones that work for you.