Starting out alone in a new city is one of the scariest things you can do in life. Trying to do this in a new country, potentially one where you don't even speak the language? It can feel impossible.

I moved to Germany in October of 2019. I had a place to live, but that's about it. My boyfriend went to school the day after I arrived, and I was left alone in an empty apartment with no plans for the foreseeable future.

I was lucky enough to be in Germany where most people can speak English, but I had moved to a relatively small city with only 500,000 occupants. When I told family and friends I would be moving to Hannover, most didn't even know what country it was in. Another friend who had lived in Berlin for several years, commented that even Germans didn't want to live in Hannover, let alone expats.

I was resigned to talking to just my boyfriend, and hopefully meeting some of his friends. Unfortunately, this was a little more complicated than I expected.

I've come to realize that if you're in a group of four or more Germans, the conversation will naturally turn to German.

This makes it pretty challenging to meet German friends in a large social setting like the parties my boyfriend would bring me too. And yet, just a few months later, I have more of a social life here than I did back in the US.

1. If you hear English (or your native language) spoken, don't hesitate to say hi!

The expat community is a little like the first few weeks of college. Everyone is much more open to having conversations with strangers. Even if they aren't as new in town as you, they will likely welcome the familiarity of shared culture and speaking their native language to you.

I've made a few friends just from saying hello at bars and cafes. I've even found a job as a result of that connection. Unlike in the US, an invitation for dinner or drinks to get to know your new friend better will actually materialize instead of hanging in the limbo of "someday."

2. Find friends online

Just wondering out loud: did anyone ever actually make friends from Bumble BFF?

The situation is very different abroad. MeetUp is an amazing website that connects like minded groups of people to hang out and pursue their passions. If you can't speak the language yet, just make sure to check that the title and about section of the group is in English and you should be fine. The best part is that you'll already have something in common, whether it's drinking wine and watching movies, or running 10Ks on a Saturday.

The city I moved to was so small that I actually couldn't find any English speaking MeetUps. So, I spent about twenty minutes trying to remember the password to my derelict Facebook account, and searched for expat groups in Hannover. Happily enough, there were two. I'm truly convinced that wherever you move in the world, there will be a community of English speakers there already.

3. Learn the Language

I bet you didn't see this one coming, did you?

Not only does joining a language course make it much easier to live in this new country you've chosen for yourself, but it also allows you to meet many other newcomers. Some might be from your home country, and some might not even speak English at all.

These relationships are my favorite part about living abroad. Especially in Germany, you can hear from refugees from Syria and Africa, doctors from the Middle East, exchange students from Asia, and more.

Not to mention, someday you may even get good enough in your new language to join in those conversations at the party.

Having a community is crucial to humans as social creatures, but that becomes even more important in an unfamiliar environment.

Your new friends will become invaluable resources as you navigate the job search or network as a freelancer, as you find health insurance and figure out a Visa, or even to find the one place in town that sells decent tortillas.