Back in basic school, my math teacher once told me:

"You have the lowest grades of all my students in this school."

Even though this happened in 2006, I still remember the exact place where it happened, what I was wearing, and the time of the day (right after lunch). This is how impactful this memory was to me. In my head, what I heard my math teacher say was: "You are a failure."

The belief I was stupid was very tangible. I believed I was dumb and not capable of conquering what I wanted in life. How could I? I was the worst student in all the math classes of my school.

From a young age, I also remember how frequently my mother would compare me with my cousins and neighbors. Comparisons like "You should be more like her," even said with great intentions, can cause harsh results into adulthood.

Did these events torment all types of things I did throughout my adult life? With no doubt. But only until I recognized I was the one who was creating this belief and turning it into my internal wiring in my subconscious mind.

We all have our own internal wiring.

This means that we all have our very own core beliefs, which are made of the thoughts we think to ourselves all the time, every day. Thoughts that play like a broken tape on the background of our minds. And we always, with nearly no questions, believe in it.

What is thought?

Neuroscientists define thought as the interaction of billions of neurons in the same moment, swapping chemicals between them to communicate. The neuroscientist and lecturer Dr. Joe Dispenza says that our brain has roughly a hundred billion neurons. If we took a hundred billion sheets of paper and piled them on top of each other, they would reach around 8,047 kilometers (5,000 miles) high. That's roughly the distance from Guyana to Germany.

Impressive, right?

If you search on the web "how many thoughts we think per day," you will find some unofficial results claiming that we have 80,000 thoughts a day. Other scientific studies suggest that we may experience between 4,000 to 5,000 in 16 hours (considering that we sleep eight). However, this is still a thorny subject to discuss.

What is really a thought?

We know we think thoughts all the time, but there's still a long journey to clearly understand where our thoughts come from and how many cross our minds in a single day.

Until we get there, what we know so far is that countless waves or loops of thoughts come and go in our heads. We can't control all of them. If you pay close attention to your thoughts, you will find that most of them are useless and unreal.

In general, we don't even notice most of our thoughts. Most of them are the thoughts we had yesterday and the day before. Or years before. Words we repeat in our minds, memories we keep returning to, random comments, answers, questions, and plenty of daydreaming thoughts where we lose track of time and space.

We may not know much about thoughts, yet. But we surely know this:

We create our reality with the thoughts we think all the time and every day. Our thoughts dictate the decisions we make.

So it's easy to see how living a happy life relies on finding the thoughts that work for us. Not against us. The thoughts we think every single day are the ones that create our internal wiring — in other words, our core beliefs.

Our job is to find the core beliefs that make our life stuck and change them.

What is a core belief?

Core beliefs are nothing less than deep-rooted presumptions we make about ourselves, the world we live in, and others. They are the result of impactful experiences, mostly from our childhoods. And if we had repeated impactful experiences, chances are we made our core beliefs even more rooted and harder to break.

Core beliefs are simply the thoughts you repeatedly think. As you do this, you reach a stage where your subconscious mind takes them over. It starts holding them as the absolute truth.

When this happens, you are no longer aware of your core beliefs; you simply think "that's just the way I am".

Our core beliefs can make us exceptionally successful or miserable. Why? Because they control us by 90 percent of the time. Paradoxically, we control them as they control us.

But we can change this.

How?

By canalizing our thoughts and being responsible for our mental content, which make our core beliefs stronger.

How to recognize a core belief

A core belief often starts with "I…" or "I am…"

They can be either negative or positive, but in this article, we will focus on the negative ones as they're the ones that are not working for us.

Examples of negative core beliefs are:

• "I am not good enough; a failure; a loser; an incompetent. / Everyone is better than me. / I will never succeed."
• "I am bad. / I don't deserve anything. / Everything I do is wrong."
• "I am unlovable; undesirable; unattractive; ugly."
• "Everything is my fault. / I never get it right."
• "I will be hurt if I get close to someone. / People cannot be trusted."
• "There is no point in life. / The world is unfair."

Before we continue, let's be very clear about something: It's not your fault you have these negative core beliefs. They exist because something or someone made you believe so.

Most of us think we are destined to be the way we are for the rest of our lives, when in fact we are choosing to live like this by not choosing our thoughts. I will repeat:

Choosing our thoughts.

Can I change my core beliefs?

Absolutely. But you have to dive in deep.

You need to understand what has been creating and shaping your core beliefs in the first place. You will have to bring them to your conscious mind. What we want to do here is to make the subconscious, conscious.

Finding core beliefs

To find our core beliefs, we must be aware of what upsets us. Whenever we get upset at something, we have an excellent opportunity to find out what is hidden in our subconscious mind.

Simply put, when you find yourself getting upset, do these two things:

1. Notice what is upsetting you.

2. Pause for some moments and begin questioning the reasons that are making you upset.

Let's now go back to my math teacher and mom, who made me believe I was a complete failure.

Every single time throughout my adult life, when someone would criticize my work in any way, I would collapse. I would feel so deeply offended and sad that it would make me question everything about my work, skills, and self-worth.

Not only would I doubt myself, but I would convince myself that the person who was criticizing my work was absolutely right.

As I started understanding core beliefs, I could finally see where all this was coming from. So instead of collapsing every time I got upset about my work, I would stay still with that emotion. Then, I would ask myself a few questions to reach the core belief holding me back.

I would ask: "Why is this upsetting me?"

And answer: "Because my work is being criticized."

And ask again: "Why is my work being criticized?"

And answer: "Because I did something wrong."

And ask again: "Why did I do something wrong?"

And answer: "Because I am dumb."

And ask again: "Why am I dumb?"

And answer: "Because I am a failure. I am not good enough."

— Eureka.

This is how you get to the core of your beliefs. You peel them like the layers of an onion.

All of this came from something that some people told me and created a huge impact on how I saw myself. I deliberately programmed my internal wiring into believing that I would never be as good as everyone else, no matter what I did.

Replace your negative core belief with a positive one

Once I found out that one of my core beliefs was "I am not good enough," I would tell myself that this core belief was not an absolute truth and immediately replace it with a positive belief. One that worked for me.

Changing our negative core beliefs means finding our very best alternative of a new and positive core belief.

For example, a suitable replacement for the negative core beliefs mentioned above can be:

Have in mind that you have to pick not only a new and positive core belief but also a realistic one. This is because telling yourself things like:

• "All people can be trusted."
• "The world is the safest place."
• "I can control everything."
• "I am the best person living on this planet."

…may sound a bit unrealistic.

The result of an unrealistic core belief, even though positive, is that you will not believe it so much. It won't help you change your negative core belief. So pick your words to the point you believe them.

Now, once you find your new and positive core belief, you want to make it stronger. You will do this every time you feel upset about something. And then, you just 1. Notice what is upsetting you, and 2. Pause and begin questioning the reasons that are making you upset.

Soon enough, you will find more reasons and experiences that will prove your positive core beliefs. You will make them more powerful and more rooted in your subconscious mind. You will make them yours.

Eventually, after understanding the roots of my negative core beliefs, I stopped doubting and sabotaging myself.

It was clear what was stopping me from being who I wanted to become.

I was now on the front seat of my subconscious mind.

With this said, I wish you nothing but the best.

What I want you to apprehend from this article is that each one of us has a tape playing on the back of our heads, constantly. This tape is full of thoughts that we mostly don't pay attention to. But we listen and hold these thoughts within us as fundamental truths.

Think about how you would feel and who you would become if you thought great thoughts about yourself all the time.

Understand that your self-talk and thoughts are important.

You can talk yourself into or out anything.

There is a way out, and I have no doubts you can do it.

Don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. I'm happy to help you in anything I can.

Good luck. 🌞

↠ let's connect on Instagram

↠ would love you to have a look at my first Ebook: KEEP GROWING — Easy Guide To Reconnect With Yourself

↠ If you're not yet a member of Medium I would be delighted if you join us here.

↠ If you enjoyed this piece, I believe you will enjoy these ones as well: