A Soul Agreement To Experience Karmic Lessons

"So other people hurt me? That's their problem. Their character and actions are not mine. What is done to me is ordained by nature, what I do by my own." โ€” Marcus Aurelius

We have all, at some point, found ourselves in the grip of emotional pain, whether it was inflicted by a family member, friend, colleague, or romantic partner. This is a shared human experience, a journey through sadness, rejection, anger, and similar emotions. The weight of this hurt can be overwhelming, and its echoes can reverberate through our lives for a significant period.

But we can learn a lot from our pain, and I don't mean becoming more resilient but softening in those once rigid parts.

For instance:

  • Becoming more compassionate
  • Developing a kinder perspective
  • Understanding the root causes of others' pain

It may not be the message you want to hear, particularly if someone has hurt you recently. Nevertheless, people who hurt us do so because of the pain they carry.

They hurt people and hurt others because it is the only language they know. I'm not condoning their actions but inviting you to look at the bigger picture. Hurt people don't deal with their pain and transfer it onto others via manipulative means.

Consider your response to the last time someone caused you pain. Did you manage to maintain a healthy boundary with them, or did you find yourself trying to alleviate their suffering? Some of us are drawn to help the wounded, only to find ourselves hurt even more. The wounded, however, may not be ready to accept our help because they may not even recognize their need for it.

Remember, this is about self-preservation. People will go to great lengths to avoid pain (pain-pleasure principle) and indulge in activities that anesthetize their pain. More often than not, we become the recipient of another person's pain; therefore, we should distance ourselves if we can.

Please don't feel obligated to save them because they don't want to be saved. Sometimes, a person's karma is to experience pain and transform it. I don't intend this to mean human beings shouldn't endure suffering, and we should allow it.

Instead, we may have a soul agreement to experience karmic lessons for our soul's evolution. It is not our job to intervene unless asked to; otherwise, the other person won't benefit from our involvement.

It is not always the case because you might have a sibling, parent, child, or loved one whom you are responsible for caring for. But if you've repeatedly helped them without success, there might be a more profound lesson they need to learn. Sometimes, we need to hit rock bottom to find our way back.

While rock bottom can be dark, we discover the light of our being and the essence of our soul nature. What are your impressions about this so far? I'm sure you have questions, and you might disagree with me, and that's fine. I invite you to sit with your questions and write about your feelings in your journal.

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Photo by DANNY G on Unsplash

We Ought To Heal Our Wounds

"The thought caused me a good deal of grief. What a terrible thing it is to wound someone you really care for โ€” and to do it so unconsciously." โ€” Haruki Murakami

The key is to investigate our thoughts with openness and compassion. It's okay to feel resistance and disagreement about something you don't understand. You don't need to agree with anyone, but finding your truth is essential. Disagreement can lead to discovering your truth. People hurt each other because of the trauma they've experienced throughout their life.

Some people don't know how to ask for help or may lack the financial resources to seek therapy or counseling. So, they bury their pain, hoping it will be forgotten. However, the potential consequences of burying pain include:

  • Developing unhealthy coping mechanisms
  • Struggling with relationships
  • Experiencing physical or emotional symptoms

Pain always resurfaces because it has a way of revealing itself. It resurfaces when another person mirrors our deepest beliefs. Naturally, we go to war with them, believing they caused our pain. However, they are reflecting what we believe at the unconscious level. They are our healing agents, pointing us toward self-transformation.

I know it's difficult to accept when another person triggers pain within us. But the source of our pain is already present inside of us, and we activate it without knowing it. If the same individual triggers the pain buttons of another person, they may not react the same way.

For example, I'm triggered by loud music and screaming because I grew up with a stern father who was vocal in his disciplining. Yet, my sisters, who grew up in the same household, are unaffected because they were treated differently. They don't have the same wounds and are not triggered like I am.

So, how can we deal with those who hurt us? First, it is essential to maintain healthy barriers and distance ourselves from them. This is possible, but it may involve limiting our contact with them. Second, we ought to heal our wounds because others will eventually trigger us again. Therefore, if we carry unresolved trauma, it is likely we will have to face our demons once more.

The key to navigating this complex terrain is to embark on a journey of self-inquiry. Whether engaging in self-reflection or working with a professional counselor or therapist, the goal remains to heal our wounds. We are all, in some way, carrying the scars of our life experiences. The antidote to this pain and trauma is not retaliation or anger, but rather, it is found in the wellspring of compassion and kindness within us.

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