The first time I walked into a gym was the first time I experienced an anxiety attack.
An instant film of sweat on my palms, my heart beating at a rabbit's pace, and vision blurring from a combination of a fight-or-flight response and developing tears.
I bit my lip, drew in a shaky breath, and tried to will my heart to slow down.
I was thirteen years old. I was starting to play competitive tennis.
Objectively, you could say I was an athlete.
And I stood there, as the aforementioned athlete, just a few steps into the enormous glossy building with waxed floors and the smell of combined cologne and sweat.
Paralyzed.
With absolutely no clue how to use the most basic machines.
What option did I have, but to keep my head down and hope for the best?
I was so consumed with thinking everyone was watching me that my performance struggled.
I didn't know how to properly lift a weight, I hated waiting for a machine to be available, and I ended up choosing the treadmill just to get my heart rate going. I needed to sweat to prove that I did something.
Who I was trying to prove, I knew it wasn't me.
At that point, it would've been better to avoid the gym altogether.
I need to get out of here, my brain rattled, over and over again like a hamster trapped in a plastic sphere, I need to get out of here. Now.
It's not surprising that my first day at a conventional gym didn't go well.
To this day, 15 years later, I struggle with anxiety when entering a gym.
The experience usually goes something like this:
- I'm logically aware no one is watching, but I feel it anyway. This is distracting and leads to rushed movements, improper form, etc.
- I get frustrated when I fail to perform the way I want to, creating emotional instability. This can lead to unnecessary crying and distracting my fellow gym-goers
- I feel like a failure, and my failure feels very public. The last thing you want is for those feelings to follow you home (unfortunately, they do)
If you struggle with gym anxiety (or any anxiety), you may relate.
After competing in tennis competitively for over a decade — and learning to love physical fitness and the mental challenges that came with it — to have such a visceral reaction every single time I entered a regular gym was not only frustrating, but demoralizing.
On the flip-side, competing in tennis taught me a lot.
It taught me mental toughness, individuality, grit, determination, and knowing when to pick your battles.
What tennis didn't teach me was how to reach specific fitness goals long after my career was finished.
I only knew how to train specifically for tennis.
I did conditioning routines with my teammates, tried a healthier vegan and vegetarian diet (with spectacularly awful results), and obsessed over what the pros were doing. People I'd admired for years.
I was constantly distracted.
I didn't know this at the time, but this was my first — and worst — mistake.
It didn't help that my impatience, lack of focus, depression, and frustration with self-image would also sabotage my efforts.
In 2023, after trying every self-driven program in the book (and spending hundreds of dollars on eBooks and guides from people I admired), I realized I needed a solution that would give me real, actionable steps to stay consistent.
I needed clarity.
If I tried figuring everything out myself, I wasn't going to get there.
At the same time, I was battling a job where I was working 15+ hours a day, dealing with ineffective feedback, clinical depression, burnout, and completely losing confidence in both my work performance and gym performance.
It was during these few months that I discovered a fitness CEO named Krissy Cela.
You've probably heard of her.
If not, this is all you need to know:
- She's the co-founder and Creative Director of two incredibly successful fitness companies (more on that later)
- She runs a YouTube channel where she's amassed over 2 million subscribers
- Her Instagram has earned a loyal following of 3.3 million people
- Her mission is to "get young girls strong and healthy"
There was something about Krissy Cela that instantly made me feel like she understood me.
I was her target consumer whether she knew it or not.
Her fitness story was also quite similar to mine, and that connection made me feel more comfortable in trusting her brands and products.
It was through Krissy Cela's social media that I discovered her fitness app, Evolve You.
This was the first fitness app that truly changed everything for me.
I'd tried several fitness apps before this one.
Almost all of them were a waste of time and money, and would leave me feeling just as lost and defeated as I was before.
(Understand that this goes beyond self-discipline and motivation. Some apps will work for others, and some will not. In my experience, the multiple different fitness apps I had subscribed to before this one were not a great fit for me)
What drew me into Evolve You was the promise of consistent workout programs, guidance, and video tutorials that would show me exactly how to do every move, at any experience level.
No matter where I was in my journey.
In just a few steps, my main objections were covered:
- I didn't have to ask strangers in the gym how to use intimidating equipment
- I didn't have to do hours of research to try and put together a loose workout program with no guidance, plan, or customized approach
- I didn't have to take my best guess — I could trust it all to someone else, so I could focus on performing the workout and going about the rest of my day
This completely changed my approach to fitness.
I could feel my inner thirteen-year-old brighten.
Because now, I could customize what days I needed to exercise, stick to a precise schedule, and trust the process based on trained and certified experts who created the program.
I started with one of their home workout programs.
It was just enough to get me back into training different muscle groups and getting comfortable with consistent lifting.
Then, after months of experimenting, failing, succeeding, learning, and trying (and finishing) multiple home-based programs in the app…
… I decided to try one of their most popular gym programs.
As I scrolled on the app and started selecting which days I could exercise and what level I wanted to try, the Gym Anxiety Beast started gnashing its teeth.
It locked its eyes onto me. Hungry.
I tried ignoring it, but it was there, sending a barrage of self-detrimental questions through my always-busy mind that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
I fought through it, and accepted the program.
My calendar dates were set. For the first time in years, I was going to the gym to lift weights, with a specific goal, and the guidance to help me.
As of today, I've completed over 100 workouts.
Most of those were done at home. The last 30 have been in my local apartment gym, where I tune out the noise, listen to my headphones, and follow the app's guidance.
It's not always easy.
I have terrible days, and amazing days.
Some days I walk up to the front door to the gym, see someone is using the only weights available, and turn to leave instead of waiting my turn. Some days, I'm able to ignore everyone else around me, and feel powerful in my own skin.
The more I enter that space and focus on myself, the less noise my anxiety makes.
Through this experience, I've learned that gym anxiety is a monster that can be quieted.
My next goal is to upgrade to a larger gym with more advanced equipment, so I can push myself past the boundaries I've set.
I don't know if I would've made this much progress without finding a fitness app that works for me.
If you struggle with gym anxiety, there is a way out.
You don't have to settle for crippling intrusive thoughts.
You don't have to accept your current state.
You don't have to listen to the growling, the hatred, the destructive saboteur lingering in the back of your mind.
You don't have to listen to the side of you that wants you to fail.
If you hate going to the gym and don't know where to start, there are so many free and affordable resources out there to help you.
Subscribing to the Evolve You Fitness App was, for me, a life-changer.
With discipline and commitment, I know I'll reach my goals.
One day at a time.
Disclaimer: I'm in no way affiliated with Krissy Cela, Evolve You, or any other fitness app or technology mentioned in this article.
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