JUDGE NOT

Upon leaving the grocery store earlier today, I saw a man standing near the exit with a sign. He seemed tired and dejected. He looked like he could use some help.

I quickly checked my wallet to see if I had any cash. I'm notorious for rarely having cash in my wallet. I use my debit card for almost all purchases. I generally don't have cash unless someone has paid me in cash when I do the occasional carpet cleaning job.

Today, I had it. Two whole dollar bills. I briefly considered if it was insulting to give somebody in need two dollars. Well, to hell with it. If I was outside holding a sign in front of a grocery store, I'd appreciate two extra dollars being given to me.

He was kind. As I pulled up closer to him, I saw that his sign said something to the effect of "Starting a new job, just in need until then." Good for him. I hope that was true and that he had better things coming soon.

Why wouldn't it be? Because there's such a stigma that reeks of rudeness and judgmentalism when it comes to homeless people in our nation. I'm sure you've heard the following from numerous people as I have in my travels.

"He's just going to spend it on booze or drugs."

"She shouldn't be out here begging with her kids."

"They should have had a backup plan or money saved."

Jeez, judge much? Let me break these three statements down for you real quick.

He Just Going to Spend it on Booze or Drugs

Oh, like you're not? While you drive off in your Range Rover, headed to your nice home where you have a roof over your head, heat, and food, he's thinking about where he's going to spend the night. Perhaps somewhere far too cold or much too hot, depending on your location and the season.

When you're having your second glass of wine and that buzz is really starting to kick in tonight, I want you to think about the daily struggles a homeless person goes through. Can you imagine walking everywhere you go? Standing on your feet all day? That has to be tiresome.

And how about the stress of deciding where to sleep? What if the shelter is full? How about the possibility of someone stealing what few possessions you might have to your name? Or trying to harm you if they discover you sleeping wherever you choose to lay your head that evening?

I don't give a damn what someone does with the money I give them. I don't give it so that I've earned the right to judge them. I give it because I feel for them. I hope they earn enough in a day to buy food, find shelter, or have whatever they need to survive another day. If they need a drink or something else to ease the pain of being homeless, have at it.

She Shouldn't Be Out Here Begging With Her Kids

Oh, so you think she's out here because begging is a fun family activity? "Hey, kids! It's a bright, sun-shiny day! Put on your worst-looking clothes and let's go beg for money in front of the grocery store!"

Shut the hell up with that nonsense. Get a clue.

If you have kids and have ever had to have them in daycare during the working day, you know what the cost is to have your child in a decent place. So keep judging this woman who is out here with her three kids. If they are truly homeless or even just struggling to make their rent, do you think she has a job?

Without a job, there is no way to pay the exorbitant cost of child care. Never mind that rents are through the roof where we live due to market conditions and greed. What's she supposed to do with three small children while she hopes that the kindness of strangers allows her to make enough to feed their bellies? Or hopefully, afford them a room to stay in?

They Should Have Had a Backup Plan or Money Saved

Sure. Because this is a luxury all Americans can afford, right? How much do YOU have in your savings account right now? I'd love to know the figure. Kudos to those who have a nice, big safety net. And I'm sorry for those who are barely making it paycheck to paycheck.

If you do have it, then you can afford to help your fellow brother or sister instead of complaining about their unfortunate situation. Trying being helpful and kind rather than arrogant and judgmental.

This is the point I'm trying to make. Stop being rude to homeless people. To the working poor. To the poverty-stricken.

It doesn't make you look cool to talk badly about people in need. Regardless of how they ended up in that situation, it's none of your business to judge them. If you don't like giving money to people begging on the corner, don't. But don't let me catch you talking smack to them and being a rude piece of garbage.

Think about how difficult your life is at times. Despite having your career, an education, a home, food, and a soft bed to sleep in, how many of you struggle with depression? Anxiety? Health issues? The lack of somebody to love? Broken relationships with family or friends?

Now times that by a hundred or more, if you didn't have a roof over your head, a car to get you places, and food to eat at breakfast, lunch, or dinner.

You're not that different from a homeless citizen. They are your uncles, grandfathers, mothers, and aunts. They are people who once lived the way you do, served their country, or became casualties of mental illness or addiction. Just like you and other people you might know who are blessed to have homes.

Be part of the solution. Don't assume the worst about anyone holding a sign. It takes guts to ask someone for help. I have far more respect for the people living on the streets than I do for the people who persecute them and talk down to them.

I gladly gave this fella my last two dollars in cash I had on me. And I'll do it again. I hope he has a somewhat better day because of people like me and the others who offer a little help and a smile without judgment. &:^)

© 2023 Jason Provencio. All rights reserved.