I see this in so many people. In others it's quiet, precise; in others, it's loud and blinding.

It's a fear that destroys lives, honestly.

You hide behind a shiny, marble mask until you lose the ability to take it off — it becomes your flesh… Actually, it replaces your flesh.

It replaces you.

And I get it. I really do. I'm wrestling with this beast as well — you're not alone. You're never alone, especially in this.

Most people struggle with it, no matter what they're saying.

But it's so sad.

So damn sad.

The world beats you up for you who you are, thus making you hide. Your brain picks up the message: "you cannot be yourself, or you invite hostility."

People left scratches on you when you thought they were offering a warm hug.

They break your heart when you open it up.

They shatter your hopes and dreams after asking to see them.

"I won't judge." "I won't tell." "I won't think you're weird."

Emotional predators hiding in plain sight.

And then?

You go numb. You hide. You suppress. You overthink. You hyper-control and fine-tune every detail of your body language and tone. You sprint past people you know in school breaks and avoid eye contact in work.

You don't want them to judge you.

To say bad things.

To spread rumors.

To point their filthy fingers and laugh.

Such a paralyzing fear — it holds you tight until you no longer desire to move.

Vulnerability becomes a sacred ritual for you and yourself — nobody else.

Whenever I meet a person with this fear, my stomach twists. Not because of disgust, of course, but because I understand how much weight they are carrying.

And I can't do anything.

There's no advice I can give to ease the pain — not any that I've tried.

The chains are both real and fake.

Maybe you can break free; maybe you can't. Maybe you can, but you don't want to. Maybe hiding actually feels too safe to give up.

I don't really know.

What I do know is that, if you allow this parasite to keep its hands on you, you will stay stuck forever.

You have to kill it.

To slaughter it.

YOU HAVE TO BREAK FREE FROM THIS DISEASE.

But I don't know how, yet.