I found out by accident that one of my neighbors had been arrested. My partner was talking with a contractor about building a pavilion, and when the contractor learned where we lived, he said, "Check out this video from your neighborhood."

The video showed an angry man storming towards one of the contractor's employees. The employee was shoveling mulch, and some of it had gotten under the fence onto the neighbor's property.

The neighbor screamed about the mulch in his yard and warned the worker to stay off his property. The mulch shoveler apologized, said he would clean it up, and the neighbor responded by shoving him. The worker apologized a second time, stepped back a few paces, and the man shoved him again.

The contractor recorded the incident on his phone, and police arrested the angry man.

My husband and I don't know the neighbor who went ballistic over mulch, but a different neighbor almost got into a fistfight in our driveway. Two men were delivering furniture, and their U-Haul truck pulled into our yard after dark.

The neighbor spotted the U-Haul from his window and rushed to our driveway, scowling and shouting.

"What are you doing here in a U-Haul this time of night?" He demanded. "I'm going to call the police!"

Fortunately, the driver was calm. He tried to explain, but the enraged neighbor wouldn't listen. He raised his fist threateningly, which was stupid because he was old and frail, but the U-Haul driver was young and burly.

Eventually, realizing this was a legitimate delivery, the man stomped off without apologizing.

Ticking Time Bombs

But it isn't just men in my neighborhood who are angry. It's people everywhere. Impatient drivers tailgate and lean on their horns. A road rage incident in our city led one irate driver to pull a gun on the people in the other car. Air rage, with unruly passengers disrupting flights, has become commonplace.

Teenagers have gotten into the act, too.

A high school student punched his teacher in the face after the teacher confiscated his cell phone. Another student who violently attacked a teacher's aide over a Nintendo game was later described as "a ticking time bomb."

Ticking Time Bomb is a good description for our population. People are riled up over politics, inflation, religion, and world events, but they're also upset over a bit of mulch under the fence. Angry tirades on Twitter erupt over differences of opinion, and social media comment sections are an inferno of vents and accusations.

A pet owner on Nextdoor asked if anyone knew where he could rehome his dog, and instead of coming up with ideas, incensed people responded that it was cruel for him to give his fur baby away.

People blame our anger epidemic on many things. The pandemic, mental illness, inflation, anxiety, uncertain times, stress, and overwhelming demands rise to the surface of the discussion.

The problem with these excuses is that life has never been a calm, easy road. Throughout history, people have endured wars, earthquakes, poverty, uncertainty, mental illness, and stress.

My parents lived during the Great Depression and a world war, my generation was drafted to fight in Vietnam, and discrimination was so pervasive in the fifties that water fountains on the courthouse lawn were designated "white" and "colored" only.

Our history is peppered with cataclysmic events like fires and earthquakes. The Spanish flu in 1918 killed more Americans than the combined deaths of soldiers in both world wars, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.

History shows us we don't have it any worse than our ancestors, so why, instead of handling our problems with civility and restraint, do we act like tantrum-prone toddlers?

We don't know how to manage our anger

An article on classroom management said, "Unfortunately, some students simply don't know how to self-calm and effectively manage their anger."

We're a nation of people who don't know how to self-calm and manage our anger.

Social media platforms give people the opportunity to be vicious behind a veil of anonymity. The mainstream media presents biased, frequently inaccurate information that enrages and polarizes its listeners. Try listening to Fox News and see if you come away from it with an open mind or a calm spirit.

Politicians from both parties, rather than trying to unite us, fan flames of passion against the "other side."

Fearmongers tell us if we don't elect a certain president, it will mean the end of democracy, climate change will wipe out our planet in 10 years, or the next pandemic will be ten times worse. These predictions usually don't happen, but they lead us to grow fearful and angry because we are allowing other people to control our mood.

Rage doesn't spring from a grateful, peaceful heart. It bubbles beneath the surface, finally erupting from heart that has nursed fear, bitterness, and a sense of entitlement.

If we want to stop anger from defining us, we need to stop allowing outside influences and other people to impact us so negatively. Rage doesn't spring from a grateful, peaceful heart. It bubbles beneath the surface, finally erupting from heart that has nursed fear, bitterness, and a sense of entitlement.

Entitled people start fights on airplanes, fearful people strike back at whatever they believe is threatening them, and bitter people are upset about almost everything.

How we can stop the rage epidemic

Overcoming the rage epidemic must begin with each of us. Taking a break from social media and news talk shows is a start. When our thoughts are a turmoil of anxiety and worry, walking in the woods or planting a garden can be good therapy.

When we feel helpless or see ourselves as victims of some injustice, we can positively affect our environment by responding with constructive action instead of destructive anger. A smile or kind word diffuses anger, but shoving someone can get you arrested.

Try to see things from another person's perspective instead of nursing anger toward imaginary enemies. What if the furious airplane passenger takes a minute to consider the flight attendants who have been on their feet all day?

What if my neighbor had emerged from his air-conditioned home with a bottle of water for the man shoveling mulch?

What if we taught our children and our students that anger is an unacceptable response to a teacher's request?

If these solutions seem simplistic, remember that a single spark starts a fire, and most great movements begin small.

Gratitude, kindness, and positive attitudes can't be legislated into existence, but we can decide to exhibit them in our own lives.

One thing the government can't save us from is our own anger. We must do some things for ourselves, and determining our attitudes and responses is one of them.

Anger stirs up anger, but a kind word turns away wrath. Think of how much different our country would be if our anger epidemic became a movement to reclaim civility and kindness.

Next time you feel angry, try a kind word, a smile, or a constructive solution. Try to see things from the other person's perspective. Or go for a walk and let nature soothe your spirit and your soul.