An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life.

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy. "It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil — he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego."

He continued, "The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.

The same fight is going on inside you — and inside every other person, too."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

The origin of this story is often attributed to Native American wisdom, particularly the Cherokee tribe, but the specific author is unclear.

You may have heard this story tons of times on social media, but in social media, everything is fleeting. We come across something, find it great and inspiring, and we move on to the next story, to the next emotion.

But this story stuck with me, maybe because I've lived in anger almost my entire life and never knew how to handle it. For a long time, I didn't know about anything else other than pure rage.

And I've lost so many opportunities and hurt many people because of that.

It took me time, but now I don't lose my calm as easily. And here are 13 sentences that help me keep my cool when I'm angry:

1. Anger is a flame that consumes the one who holds it.

If you're angry at someone for any reason at all, you're carrying their mistake with you.

The interesting thing about anger is when you are angry with someone, you think you are teaching them a lesson, but anger burns you as well. You've possibly ruined days, if not weeks, of your previous time, being angry with someone who doesn't even care.

And even if they care, even if they are hurt, will you feel good about yourself because of that?

Why do you want to hurt someone and get hurt?

Choose to free yourself from unnecessary pain.

Choose kindness over anger. Because

Compassion burns brighter than the flame of anger.

2. Anger is a river flowing with boiling water.

Now you can choose to dive and get burned or you can let it go away, leaving your inner self untouched and safe.

"Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean." ― Maya Angelou

3. Getting angry is easy. But getting angry in the right way is not.

Because anger blocks your rational thinking. You act like a dumb-witted fool, saying things you wouldn't say normally and doing things you wouldn't do if you were in your senses.

Remember what Aristotle said:

"Anybody can become angry — that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way — that is not within everybody's power and is not easy."

4. In 600,000+ hours of life, anger is just a small rock.

In a very limited life, we can choose to spread love so that whenever people remember us after we die, they take our name in respect and affection.

Or we can choose to spread hate and negativity. And if you choose the second option, you're going to spend your life alone.

Anger is just a small rock, not something that needs to define you. So, don't stumble over it, gracefully step over it.

"If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind." ― Shannon L. Alder

5. Holding onto anger is like grabbing something hot to throw at someone else.

You are the first one to get hurt by this cruel emotion. We are humans and we can choose our reaction. You can choose not to pick up a hot and burning object that ends up hurting you more than anyone else.

"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured." ― Mark Twain

6. Forgiveness is a warm feeling and only meant for your peace.

When we are angry at someone, we may hold grudges for years to come, and it happens because we start identifying a whole person with one or two events.

It's like saying that the whole road is broken because of one or two potholes you encountered throughout your journey.

If someone lied to you twice, you declare them a liar. But that person might have told you the truth several times. And you also lie sometimes to several people.

So forgive, because after holding grudges for a long time, when we finally forgive someone, we feel a sense of peace.

क्षमैका शान्तिरुत्तमा — Only forgiveness is the best means of peace.

7. Anger may make noise inside you, but understanding quietly lasts forever.

Anger makes you mad. Before blowing up, we often talk to ourselves in our minds. We try to think about every situation in the past where a person had made a similar mistake, or how someone else might have similarly hurt us.

And the more you do that, the angrier you get. This anger tries to convince you that blowing up (which looks like speaking up for yourself) is the only solution, but if you pause for a second and consider other options, your rational mind starts to step in.

It's up to you which one you give more power to. It's up to you which wolf you choose to feed.

"Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret." ― Ambrose Bierce

8. Anger is like a storm that comes and goes.

Anger often comes into our lives, storming the walls of dignity.

Once the dignity is lost, it becomes hard to claim.

If you stay mindful of your emotions, it becomes easier for you to embrace the calm that follows, not the storm itself.

9. In the storm of anger, seek the calmness within.

Jane Austen once said:

"Angry people are not always wise."

Our brain stops working the moment we get a blow of emotion. We make decisions that we regret later and say things that cannot be taken back.

The urge to say the truth that's been on our minds for so long becomes prevalent during anger, but if we are aware of how things are going to be, we can choose calmness in the storm of anger.

It's not easy, but it makes you feel like someone who has won over their senses. And it is a compelling feeling.

10. Your calm mind is like a strong castle.

When you have practiced being calm for years, you have built a thick, strong wall around your mind. And when sudden and unexpected events occur, you can use it to protect yourself from the storms of anger.

"It is wise to direct your anger towards problems — not people; to focus your energies on answers — not excuses." ― William Arthur Ward

11. When anger clouds the sky of your consciousness, let the gentle rain of reason restore clarity.

Handling situations in anger is like driving your car with fog on the windshield. You will crash eventually.

So whenever you find fog, do not keep going. Get rid of the fog first before continuing your journey.

"There are two things a person should never be angry at, what they can help, and what they cannot." ― Plato

12. You are a vast, big ocean. Let anger be a small wave.

We sometimes make one wave our entire identity, forgetting everything else. Just remember, every blow of emotion is a wave unless you turn it into a tsunami.

Instead, keep your calm as a deep part of the sea. Because once you let go of anger, then you can make room for other things in your life.

"A heart filled with anger has no room for love." ― Joan Lunden

13. Breathe in calmness and breathe out frustration.

When anger is trying to take control of you, find peace in the rhythm of your breathing. Breathing helps your mind to get rid of the blow of anger and, after a few long breaths, you find yourself to be able to think and reason again.

So, breathe in the calmness and breathe out the frustration, one breath at a time.

"Anger, resentment and jealousy doesn't change the heart of others — it only changes yours." ― Shannon Alder

Conclusion

When you start any mindful exercise, it feels stupid at first.

I felt like a fool reading these lines when I was angry, breathing in and out till the count of 10, or just going for a walk.

Everything seems like a funny, cruel way to deal with such a huge blow of emotions and when you don't gain your calm in the first 5 minutes, you want to give up stating these exercises as useless.

I did the same.

But eventually, I realized that I can either feel stupid and work on my anger, or I can push everyone I care about away from me throwing anger tantrums. And I chose the first option.

So, next time you're angry at someone, just take a moment and think about these stupid sentences.

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